


Sex, Money, Feelings Die

by Breakingthetide



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19337950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breakingthetide/pseuds/Breakingthetide
Summary: “So I wait for him because I always have, because out of all the moments that went wrong, I think there were just as many that went right, just as much love and heat and want as hurt, disappointment, and cruelty. I want to believe there's a balance here, that out of this tragedy will come some good, and there will be a happy ending.”-Laura Wiess, How It Ends-Season 3 AU where Daisy Johnson and Grant Ward find each other again, pretend not to be in love, and rely on each other to heal the scars they left on one another.





	1. Thought It Was Done But I Guess It's Never Really Over

**Author's Note:**

> I've been really missing Ward lately, and needed this fic to heal the hurt.
> 
> Enjoy! This is what should have happened in season 3, but the AOS writers are literally the worst and would rather have fist fights and ''shock value'' over an epic love story.

 

Sunlight streams through the half-sealed curtains warming her exposed back, the sheets are too soft, the blanket draped across the back of her knees feels suffocating. Cracking an eye open the hotel room is low lit, only the small beside lamp and streak of sunshine illuminating the green carpet and salmon colored walls. Daisy yawns quietly and attempts to roll off the mattress when she realizes the position she’s in, more accurately the position she and her bedmate are in, and he will wake if she moves.

 

Liking him better when they aren’t speaking is the reason she stays curled into his side, her face pressed into his back, his arm underneath her pillow. At least that’s what she tells herself anyway as she ignores the sun growing higher into the sky and buries herself deeper into his skin. She must drift off again because the next time she opens her eyes the bed is empty and the shower is switching on in the bathroom.

 

Sheets cold she stumbles to the bathroom, stepping over their clothes strewn about the room, his pants on the dresser, her bra tossed carelessly beside the reclining chair. Bathroom door is half open and the bright lights make her wince, running on no sleep today is just one of many consequences she’s facing from last night. Daisy swears she’ll never do it again that this is the last time, but every few weeks she finds herself in hotel rooms, safe houses, the back seat of cars without hesitation.

 

Steam curls into the small room fogging up the mirror, not bothering to announce her presence because he no doubt heard her wake, Daisy yanks back the cream-colored shower curtain and steps into the tub. It’s too small for more than one person which annoys her but he doesn’t mind, she can tell by the grin that lights his face as he hands her a shampoo bottle. Dark hair plastered to his face, stubble dusted onto that perfect jaw, wet skin so close to her own, it’s a living breathing dream she can’t believe is real.

 

Whether or not this dream is a nightmare or not has yet to be decided, they’ve been doing this for months and Daisy still hates herself every time she comes back to his arms. But giving it up isn’t an option, he’s become an addiction, a habit she can’t break. When he’s rinsing the soap from his chest Daisy can’t take her eyes off his back, doesn’t even care that he catches her staring when he turns around.

 

‘’Don’t look at me like that’’.

Arching a brow he says, ‘’I don’t know what you’re talking about’’.

Daisy rolls her eyes, ‘’it’s too early in the morning for you to be cute’’.

His smile seems to light up the entire bathroom, ‘’oh you think I’m cute now?’’

Ignoring him she says, ‘’just hand me the conditioner’’.

He’s still smiling as she’s rinsing out her short hair and he’s about to step out of the tub.

Grasping his arm Daisy holds up the bar of floral scented soap and gestures to her body, which he’s all too quick to take it from her.

‘’I have to leave in ten minutes’’. She tells him moments later when his mouth is on her skin and his hands are sliding down her hips.

Dragging his lips away from her throat he kisses her softly, ‘’guess I better hurry then’’.

They’re both smiling as he hoists her up the shower wall and she wraps her legs around his hips.

 

Daisy is slipping on the dark jeans from last night and brushing her teeth while he’s making up the bed, it shouldn’t be distracting but since he’s shirtless and bare foot she can’t seem to look away. The dress in silence after that, she’s texting Simmons and he’s typing out an email by the window. They will part ways any minute now, a routine they’ve got down to a science. She leaves first, he follows five minutes later. He parked in the grocery store lot across the street, her car is behind the motel.

 

Ward pockets his phone and grabs the tan leather jacket she threw onto the floor last night, ‘’busy day today?’’

She snorts and pulls on socks and boots, ‘’like I’m going to tell you’’.

He shrugs, ‘’worth a shot’’.

‘’Like you’d tell me anything about Hydra if I asked’’.

He sits onto the bed at that his expression open, those whiskey eyes drinking, trapping her in.

‘’I’ll tell you anything you want to know’’.

‘’Thought we agreed no work talk’’.

‘’You brought it up’’.

‘’I think I like you better when you’re sleeping’’.

He rises from the mattress and places a hand on her waist, ‘’I can tell by the way you cling to me every night’’.

She gapes, ‘’I do not cling to you’’.

He winks, ‘’you do, it’s adorable’’.

Gathering her jacket and phone she scoffs and walks to the door, ‘’goodbye Ward’’.

‘’Are you going to send me a message for the next time you want to meet, or are you just going to show up and expect me to drop all my plans for you again?’’

Spinning around Daisy nearly chunks her car keys at him, ‘’it was pretty obvious you weren’t busy’’.

He’s in front of her now pressing her against the door, trailing a hand up her ribs, ‘’spying on me again Agent Johnson?’’

Lips inches from her own he’s all she can see, all she can feel and breathe.

‘’No’’.

Nose to nose now he grins, ‘’you’re a terrible liar’’.

‘’No you just read people with your Jedi mind powers’’.

‘’Is that all you want me for? My skill set?’’

Her hands find his shoulders as she presses against him, ‘’and your body, that’s all you’re good for these days’’.

Knowing she’s teasing, her tone light, Grant kisses her again, ‘’glad we’re on the same page. Better get going Agent Johnson’’.

Not looking back to face him she leaves the hotel and lets Coulson know she’s on her way to the Playground.

 

Here’s the thing with Grant Ward; she hasn’t forgiven him for what he did to the team, to her. And she probably never will, however understanding why he did the things he did is another story entirely. After everything that happened with her mother Daisy completely understands how John Garrett was able to manipulate Ward into Hydra, she gets how easy it is to be taken in by a powerful father figure who saves you from whatever situation you’re in. Did Coulson not do the same thing for her?

 

Ward was brain washed and not everything he did was his fault, she gets that now and doesn’t hold it against him. He’s hurt people, killed people, but so has she, and no one crucified her over it. Grant however got the short end of the stick and was cast out, Shield will never give him the time of day no matter how hard he tried to redeem himself. He’s now the Director of Hydra but has no interest in world domination, destroying Shield or Inhumans.

 

He’s just trying to find his place in the world, and Hydra is apparently helping him do that. They don’t talk about work when they’re together, they only want one thing from each other; a connection, a warm body to fall asleep next to after a hard day, someone to eat take out and have a beer with after a particular grueling mission. Ward is her person for that and vice versa, for some reason he’s the only one who seems to understand what she’s going through.

 

After her mother died, Cal being sent through Tahiti, her becoming the leader for a group of Inhumans for Shield, it’s a lot of change, a lot of pressure. And Ward gets that, he gets Shield molding you into someone else to fit their agenda, losing yourself in the cause, trying to be the best that ever was. Proving that nothing and no one can break you, that you’re indestructible and will do anything to stop your enemies, protect your friends and family.

 

Pushing the thoughts away because Ward is still a complication, she’s living a lie, Daisy walks into the Playground to find May waiting for her.

‘’You look tired’’. The Calvary comments.

‘’Didn’t get much sleep’’.

‘’Coulson needs you in his office’’.

‘’Copy that’’.

Three weeks later Daisy finds herself walking into the Director’s office, he’s sitting at his desk and gives her a smirk when she walks in, ‘’morning sunshine’’.

‘’May said you wanted to see me’’.

She sits in a plush chair as he stands.

‘’I need you to go on a stake out for me’’.

‘’Alright, name the time and place’’.

He turns on the video monitor on the wall and it reveals a warehouse with plain walls and a red SUV parked out in back with stolen license plates.

‘’We think this might be one of Hydra’s bases. Check it out and report back but don’t make any contact’’.

Her stomach twists in knots but she answers confidently, ‘’yes sir I’ll leave now’’.

‘’Have you had breakfast yet?’’

She pauses in walking to the door, ‘’no’’.

‘’Eat first and then go, take Mack with you’’.

‘’I can handle it on my own sir’’.

He sighs, no doubt thinking about what’ll happen if she runs into Grant Ward.

‘’Alright, but if you run into any problems abort and come home’’.

‘’Yes sir’’.

After eating crepes and fresh fruit with Fitz and Simmons she heads out wearing normal civilian clothes and a leather jacket, a gun at her hip just in case.

 

Having no idea if Ward is actually in this specific base or not if it does turn out to belong to Hydra, she sends him a message hasn’t received a response by the time she begins staking it out. She’s had his number for months but it’s still strange, especially knowing exactly what she uses it for. After two hours he finally responds to her earlier message.

 

- _Thought we agreed about work._

- _Just answer the question._

- _If I say yes will you come inside?_

- _No._

- _Then no this isn’t a base and you’re wasting your time._

- _Liar._

- _Not to you, never again._

A nervous and shameful sweat breaks out at his words, she pushes back the memory that follows.

- _I’m coming in._

She sends the message and he replies in seconds.

- _Can’t wait._

_-Shut up._

The building is empty when she walks in after checking the perimeter, Ward is the only occupant. She’s going to blame the fluttering in her chest when she spots him on not seeing him in weeks. He’s dressed in all black the stubble on his face thicker than usual, making him look more dangerous than normal. To the world he’s a monster, a burning flame that destroys everything in his wake. But to her he’s just Ward, the lost man who was never given a second chance, everyone who knew him turned their backs on him.

 

He betrayed her once, hurt her in a way that no one ever had, but after years and spilled blood all of that is water under the bridge. Even if he doesn’t know it, that someday he told her once is here, she understands, and can’t imagine hating him ever again. ‘’Your secret lair is empty’’. She tells him, checking the exits, how many windows, if he’s armed. It’s habit, not because she thinks this is an ambush or he’s suddenly going to attack her.

 

Grant smirks, ‘’this used to be a base of operations but we moved a while ago’’.

‘’So what are you doing here? Especially since it’s so close to the Playground’’.

‘’Aw, worried about me?’’

‘’Of course not, just curious’’.

He moves to sit in an old office chair in the corner of the room, she trails after.

‘’Maybe I wanted to see you’’.

She calls and he comes, that’s how it’s always worked since they started this mess, him changing it up is not the protocol.

‘’You sent the intel to Coulson’’. She realizes.

He has the nerve not to look guilty as he sits in the sunlight that streams through the window, ‘’he bought it, and here you are’’.

Recognizing the look on his face Daisy steps closer until she’s between his legs, ‘’you could have just called’’.

‘’Would you have answered?’’

‘’Maybe’’.

Strips off her jacket as he watches her with dark eyes, unbuttons her shirt.

‘’What are you going to tell Coulson?’’ He asks when she tugs off his black Henley.

‘’That we ran into each other’’.

Takes off her shirt, ‘’and it got physical’’.

He grins as she kisses him, hands cupping his face.

Sits in his lap, straddles his hips as he unbuckles his belt.

‘’That I kicked your ass’’.

He hums when she kisses him and runs her hands through his hair.

He’s got one hand in her own hair, an arm banded around her back when he lifts and pins her to the nearest wall.

‘’Take your pants off’’.

She breathes and starts unbuttoning them.

‘’How long do we have?’’

He asks as he yanks off her bra and tosses it across the room.

‘’As long as we want’’.

She can feel his smile against her lips and says this is only sex, it doesn’t mean anything.

Daisy has to tell herself this every single time they’re together, and believing it is getting harder.


	2. You Make Me Go Insane But That's How I Want It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lines between Daisy and Ward begin to blur even more as he interferes with a mission, and a drunk conversation reveals how much she cares about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of cute Skyeward moments in here, the one at the end might be my favorite.
> 
> Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment! 
> 
> Also for those reading my Skyeward Avengers AU series I haven't forgotten about the final fic 'I Bet You Kiss Your Knuckles' it's just that writers block has been dreadfully awful for me lately. I will update as soon as I can!

 

The bathroom is low lit and warm, steam fogging up the mirror, there’s even a small vanilla scented candle lit above the toilet. Daisy sighs and closes her eyes, leans her head against the side of the bathtub as the weight of the day falls away. The door is open so she’s able to hear Ward rustling around their hotel room, the smell of their Chinese takeout dinner wafts through the bathroom. Dunking her head underwater Daisy holds her breath, can feel the stress of today’s mission melting off her sore bones. It was a rough one, a few close calls, her ribs are dark with a couple bruises, knuckles split open.

 

The water suddenly sloshes as another body climbs into the tub, a knee brushes her own, a calloused hand cups her thigh for a split second. When she breaks the surface Ward is sitting across from her his chest gloriously wet, dark hair slicked back as he runs hands through it. She’s speechless for a moment at the sight even though she’s seen him naked plenty of times.  How much he trusts her with his body at least, shocks her, after everything she’s done to him here he is on display, vulnerable, exposed.

 

Scars line his body but there are three that always cause regret and shame to clutter her mind. Three bullet wounds mark his chest from a time where she hated him more than she’d ever hated anyone, when she wanted him to hurt exactly the way she’d been hurt. For a long time after she shot him Daisy didn’t regret it, thought she was a hero for shooting an unarmed man because he was the one who betrayed her and the team, he was the monster who hurt so many people.

 

But as the months turned into a year and then some, Daisy soon hated herself for it. Ward was only trying to help her get away from the real psychopath that was Whitehall and she nearly killed him for it. Did he deserve it? Possibly, she used to think so. Thought she was justified in trying to kill the man who tried to kill her friends. But now instead of that burning hatred she used to feel every time she looked at him, it’s just guilt now and something else, something deeper and dangerous that she refuses to touch.

 

Grant follows her gaze and taps her ankle, ‘’it’s okay’’. But it’s not and she can’t stop feeling terrible for it. The first time she saw those scars up close and personal she nearly started crying, surprising them both, before Ward told her it was alright just like he always does. He claims he forgave her for it a long time ago, but she just can’t seem to forgive herself. Instead of focusing on the past he directs his attention to the fresh bruises on her body, how tense and wired she is.

 

When he starts massaging her foot Daisy groans in appreciation and leans her head back on the tub again, closes her eyes. The unspoken trust they have for one another still trips her up sometimes, Ward is who he is and Daisy is still trying to find out who she is, but he’d take a bullet for her and she wouldn’t leave him to die somewhere. It’s a far cry from what their relationship once was, no longer fueled by hatred and guilt, it’s healthier, better than that.

 

She’s about to fall asleep when he speaks up, voice low and inviting.

‘’Are you hurt anywhere else?’’

His hands are on her calves now, she didn’t even notice how close he’d moved until his chest brushes against her own.

Daisy shakes her head, ‘’the Watchdogs are tough but not that tough’’.

The Watchdogs are an organization attempting to ‘’fill the hole’’ Hydra left after they stopped hunting Inhumans and destroying Shield.

‘’They won’t be an issue much longer’’. Ward replies his voice now tight with barely concealed anger.

He never did like seeing her hurt, that hasn’t changed.

‘’No work talk’’. She reminds him as if he could forget, even though she brought it up, but it works and he continues his massage in silence.

She’s jelly when he finishes, can barely keep her head above water or her eyes open when Ward suddenly lifts her out of the tub.

‘’I can walk’’. She protests but wraps her arms around his neck anyway as he carries her to the soft hotel bed.

‘’Do you want any leftovers?’’

But she’s asleep before he gets any response.

 

‘’What’s this scar from?’’ Daisy traces the harsh white lined mark across Ward’s left shoulder, whoever inflicted it upon him meant to do serious harm. It’s puffed and raised at the edges, five inches long stretching across his tanned skin. It’s three a.m. their hotel room only lit by a small sliver of moonlight peaking between the curtains, the TV on but muted. They’re curled up on the bed, sheets and comforter lying halfway on the floor, pillows strewn about the mattress. 

 

They never put their clothes back on from their bath a few hours ago, Grant watches her finger trace the scar as it moves back and forth, she can see the memory unfurling in his eyes. He’s got one arm wrapped around her and the other putting his phone on the nightstand, her head is resting against his chest and Daisy is pretending this is nothing more than post-sex cuddling, once the sun rises it won’t mean a thing.

 

‘’Do you really want me to answer that?’’ He asks quietly, guarded like she’s not going to like the answer. ‘’Is it Shield related?’’ Ward nods, still half expecting the same girl who walked into Vault D and told him he should try harder to kill himself. But she isn’t that person anymore and he’s slowly starting to get used to that, even after months of sleeping together he’s not quite used to her reaction to things, has no idea what she’s been through in the time they’ve been apart.

 

‘’You can tell me, god knows I’ve probably done far worse than you since I became a Shield agent’’. The guilt at some of the things she’s done in the name of Shield starts gnawing at her ribs, if he notices her sudden discomfort he doesn’t acknowledge it. Comfort is not something they do, she doesn’t heal his demons and he doesn’t soothe the ghosts that weigh heavy. He starts absentmindedly running his fingers through her hair as he stares out the window, Daisy tries not to sink into his chest.

 

‘’It was in Hong Kong, my target was a high level operative who got ahold of classified Shield files. My job was to track down the files and eliminate him, the fight was close, but I got it done’’.

‘’How old were you?’’

His eyebrows furrow together as he thinks, ‘’twenty-two’’.

‘’That’s young’’.

He shrugs like the age doesn’t matter to him, perhaps because he was treated so badly his entire life that it ceased to have any meaning. 

‘’What about you?’’ He nods to the scar on her chin, it’s small but noticeable if you’re this close to her face.

It’s one of a dozen other tiny scars marring her body.

‘’Fist fight probably’’.

He smiles widely in the dim light, ‘’you’re so far from the rookie who didn’t know how to throw a punch’’.

She matches his grin and asks, ‘’that a bad thing?’’

Ward gazes at her longingly for a moment before responding, ‘’no’’.

There’s something in his face that makes her change the subject, ‘’I’m starving, do you want the rest of the orange chicken from earlier?’’

‘’It’s all yours Daisy’’.

She gets up her back to him so she can’t see how her nose wrinkles at the name, for some reason it sounds wrong coming from his lips.

 

Daisy eats cold take out and eventually falls asleep sprawled out on his chest, pretending the world outside doesn’t exist. The next time she wakes it’s to her phone ringing loudly on the nightstand, on alert at once she dives for it and feels a twinge of awkwardness when she sees it’s Coulson. One of the lamps switches on, of course Ward is awake and leaning against the headboard, pretending not to pay any attention to what she’s doing.

 

Snatching his black Henley from the floor and putting it on Daisy goes outside on the patio and shuts the door in case this is a Shield related phone call. The sun hasn’t risen yet but the sky is gray and light, she’s the only one out here this early, patrons of the hotel are probably still asleep or eating breakfast inside. Answering the phone she takes a deep breath and thinks of a quick lie just in case.

 

‘’Yes sir?’’

‘’I need you back at the Playground as soon as possible’’.

‘’Yes sir, I’m on my way right now’’.

‘’We got intel of a scientist named Dr. Shaw who’s suddenly developed an interest in Inhumans, go to his lab and check it out, I’ll send Mack and Bobbi with you’’.

‘’I’d like to take Lincoln as well if that’s alright’’.

‘’He’s still in training, it’s a no Agent Johnson’’.

She bites her lip to keep from voicing her frustration, Coulson asked her to develop a team of Inhumans to help defend the planet, but sometimes he acts as if she’s the only one on the team.

‘’Alright, I’m headed to the Playground now’’.

‘’Come to my office as soon as you get here’’.

‘’Yes sir’’.

He doesn’t ask where she’s been or why she’s not home, no one ever does, Daisy still can’t decide if she’s okay with that or not.

 

She walks back into the room to find all the lights on and Ward is standing in front of the TV shirtless in just a pair of jeans, his back marked from her nails distract her for a moment.

He catches her stare and gives her a grin that makes her want to smack him, ‘’shut up’’.

‘’I didn’t say anything’’.

‘’I’m leaving’’.

‘’I gathered that’’.

The sweetness of the moments they spend in each other’s arms never lasts for long for some reason, at least on her part and Ward sometimes follows her lead but apparently he’s not going to today.

Hands her a bagel and a slice of bacon he must have snagged from downstairs.

‘’You should eat something’’.

She’s pulling on her underwear and jeans, searching for her bra and shirt, ‘’no time’’.

Rolling his eyes he tries once more, ‘’you’re no use to anyone with low blood sugar and a headache’’.

Daisy tugs on her shirt, boots and socks, ‘’thanks for the tip Dad’’.

He cringes and sets the breakfast on the mattress beside her before sitting next to her, ‘’humor me’’.

The way he says it, all low and warm like slow honey has her trapped, caught up in those whiskey eyes of his.

Ripping a piece of the bagel she pops it in her mouth and he smiles before kissing her quickly, it’s a simple kiss, easy, like they do it every day.

‘’Be safe’’. He tells her as she’s about to walk out the door, bagel and bacon now gone.

Daisy turns around as Ward walks up to her, fingers brushing lightly against her cheek.

The worry in his gaze causes her stomach to churn, ‘’I’ll be fine, I’m always fine’’.

‘’That’s what bothers me’’.

She glares at him, ‘’don’t start’’.

Sometimes he makes comments on how Shield changes a person on the rare occasion she brings it up, and they both know they’re always directed at her.

‘’I’ll call you later’’. Is all she says before walking out the door, he gives no response.

 

An hour later Daisy is on a quin jet with Bobbi and Mack when Morse says, ‘’Someone had fun last night’’.

Daisy looks up at Bobbi while strapping a gun to her side holster.

‘’What are you talking about?’’

Nerves settle in her stomach, though no one would be calm if they found out she’s been sleeping with Ward, especially not Bobbi.

Morse winks and nods at Daisy’s neck, ‘’at least one of us is getting out and having a good time’’.

Whipping out her phone Daisy pulls up the camera and cringes at the mark on her neck, annoyed she missed it and now it’s too late to cover up.

Damn Ward and his stupid mouth.

She’s thinking about sending him a message when Bobbi bumps her shoulder into Daisy’s, ‘’so who’s the lucky guy?’’

Sometimes guilt creeps up on her regarding Ward, this is one of those times and it’s hard to look the other woman in the eye when she responds, ‘’no one. Just met him at a bar’’.

If the Specialist can tell she’s lying she doesn’t call Daisy out on it.

 

Dr. Shaw’s lab is a three story compound filled with private security and surprisingly Watchdog members, they’re no match for Daisy. Who disables the cameras so the Shield agents are undetected, Bobbi takes the first floor, Mack the second, while she climbs the stairs to the third. The building is bleach white and perfectly clean, each surface is gleaming and polished, the floors freshly waxed. The lab is the very last door on the right and she takes a deep breath before peeking around the corner.

 

She has just taken out two guards in front of the lab when a pair of arms yanks her into a storage closet. She’s about the fight them off her training kicking in when reality sets in, even before a familiar voice whispers in her ear. She’d recognize the strong arms encasing her frame anywhere, the smell of his skin, she’s already relaxed into his hold when Ward says, ‘’it’s me, it’s okay it’s just me’’. And to think at one time not too long ago, the last thing she’d ever do was go slack at his touch.

 

Spinning around to face him as he lets her go, he’s wearing the same clothes he was when she left him just a few hours ago. Tan leather jacket and dark stubble, memories of all these night spent together flash through her mind. Judging by the smirk he flashes, she’s wearing her thoughts on her sleeve. Crossing her arms and checking the cameras to make sure no one is coming she leans against one of the shelves holding a container of bleach and a mop. 

 

‘’What the hell are you doing here?’’ This has never happened before, they have never crossed paths while on the job. Their relationship is strictly sex and nothing else, they aren’t partners, they’re not S.O. and rookie anymore, she doesn’t need him and hasn’t for a very long time. Ward copies her stance but crossed both arms and ankles as he gives her a long once over, this is the first time he’s seen her in her Quake suit, all black with silver gauntlets on her wrists.

 

She recognizes the look in his eyes and kicks a box near his feet, ‘’what are you doing here?’’

Eyes still glued to her chest he replies, ‘’we have a history with storage closets, care to’’-

‘’please do not finish that sentence and just answer the question’’.

It’s unsettling having him here so close, their professional and personal lives should never be mixed.

Attention back on her face he says, ‘’maybe I missed you’’.

A pang in her stomach she refuses to acknowledge, ‘’no you didn’t’’.

Checking her phone again the hallway is empty, she turns back to Ward, ‘’you gave me a hickey by the way, what are we fifteen?’’

A huge smile breaks out on his face, the kind reserved for early mornings in bed before the world hits them and she curls into his chest.

‘’If you want to return the favor I’d be more than happy to’’-

She tosses a nearby cleaning sponge at him that he dodges effortlessly. 

‘’I don’t have time for this, why did you pull me into this closet?’’

He slips into mission mode so fast it reminds her of the old days on the Bus, when her very serious S.O. meant business.

‘’Dr. Shaw is experimenting on Inhumans’’.

Daisy feels her face pale, ‘’how do you know that?’’

‘’I’ve been watching him for a while, didn’t want to say anything until I was sure’’.

The way he says it, barely above a whisper like he’s afraid she’s going to be pissed for keeping this under wraps, but she’s not and this isn’t about them and their history anyway.

‘’My guys raided his lab in Switzerland this morning and found proof’’. He tosses her his phone and there in black and white is all the intel Shield needs to arrest him.

She sends the files to her own phone and hands it back to him their fingers brushing as he moves in closer.

‘’Why did you look into him in the first place?’’

The answer is clawing at the back of her brain as she tenses for his response, ready for more words to deny, more lies to tell herself.

‘’He was a threat’’. Is all Ward says and Daisy reads in between the lines, he was a threat to her is what he’s not saying, she isn’t sure how she feels about that.

‘’That isn’t your job Ward, it’s mine. I’m in charge of the Inhumans’’.

There’s no malice in her tone and she doesn’t say thank you, they’re pressed against one another in this poorly lit room she can’t take her eyes off of him.

 

Daisy makes the first move and she’s going to blame it on the physical need for him, not the emotional that’s getting harder to keep at bay with each passing day. Yanks at his shirt to bring him closer and then his mouth his on hers his hands low on her back as he presses her against one of the metal shelves. Time ceases to exist the mission doesn’t matter, nothing does but hands in hair, on hips, her nails raking up the skin of his back as he groans against her lips.

 

It isn’t until his shirt is completely off, jeans unbuttoned and he’s asking how to get her suit off when reality comes crashing back in. Breaking the kiss Daisy fixes her hair and says, ‘’we can’t, not here’’. Ward has that dazed look on his face, lips red and cheeks flushed, hair mused and it makes her smile as she catches her breath. He’s putting his shirt back on as she picks her phone up from the floor and checks the security feed once again, still clear, her com quiet.

 

‘’You didn’t have to come yourself you know, could have just sent me a message’’.

She tells him as she’s getting ready to leave.

When he doesn’t respond she puts her hands on his face, ‘’I don’t need you to protect me Ward, haven’t for a long time’’.

His eyes flick to her lips, expression unreadable.

‘’I know’’.

‘’You being here is a bad idea, I don’t know what the hell I would do if we got caught’’.

He holds both her wrists and sighs, ‘’oh you’d be forgiven without question, Coulson can’t afford to lose his best agent and surrogate daughter’’.

She winces at that, can’t help it as thoughts of her parents come to the surface, a tragedy he doesn’t know about, was too far away to witness her family crumble and die.

Ward presses a tender kiss to her forehead and she doesn’t snap at him for the intimacy of it, doesn’t remind him it’s not what this is.

‘’You okay?’’

She shrugs it off and gets her head back in the game, ‘’fine. But I need to go’’.

Still holding her wrists he asks, ‘’you going to tell Phil you saw me?’’

Daisy rolls her eyes, ‘’no, what good would that do me?’’

‘’You’d be responsible for locking up the Director of Hydra, the evil son of a bitch who betrayed Shield’’.

She frowns at this, at the way he says it like he really is this terrible irredeemable person.

‘’You’re not evil Ward’’.

She used to think he was an awful man who deserved to die for the crimes he’s committed, but not anymore.

Instant denial in his gaze as he looks away, body tenses up against hers.

Dropping her hands she takes two fingers and tugs at his chin until meet her eyes, ‘’have you done horrible things? Yes. But that doesn’t make you a bad guy, you made mistakes, it makes you human’’.

No one has ever said this to him before, it’s obvious as he looks at her just like he did at Providence so long ago, like she’s a small flicker of light against the ocean of darkness that is his life.

_‘’I am not a good man Skye’’._

_‘’Yes you are’’._

And just like back then he kisses her with the kind of desperation of a drowning man getting his first taste of fresh air, like he’s going to die if he doesn’t touch her, hold her close.

Instead of blood on his neck interrupting this time, it’s Mack’s voice in her com.

‘’Tremors we’re headed up the lab, everything good on your end?’’

Pulling away from Ward breathing hard she responds, ‘’give me a minute’’.

Hands on his chest his hair still a mess from her fingers Daisy kisses him quickly, ‘’I have to go’’.

‘’Be careful’’.

‘’Stop worrying about me’’.

The door is halfway open when he replies, ‘’old habit’’.

They’re both still smiling when she shuts it and gets to work.

 

Dr. Shaw is arrested and being interrogated by May hours later when Daisy makes her escape. Sends Ward a message to meet her at a safe house, he responds five minutes later saying he’ll be there. Hours later she’s in the backyard floating in the pool, all the lights off except for the back porch and the ones in the pool, she hears a car pull into the driveway but doesn’t hear the door shut or his footsteps. But soon the back door is sliding open and she can feel his heart beat. 

 

Keeping her eyes closed as she floats on her back in only her underwear, Ward says nothing as he takes off his jeans and shirt and joins her. 

‘’You’re shivering’’. He notes as he wades through the water to reach her.

‘’Maybe you should warm me up then’’.

Hands cup her hips and soon she’s wrapped around his body, no longer caring about the temperature.

‘’What’s your dream?’’ She asks sometime later as they’re lying in bed, both have had a little too much to drink, alcohol is a danger to them, it brings out truths they’d rather not admit.

But Daisy isn’t thinking about that right now, all she cares about is his body underneath hers and his hand in her hair.

‘’Like what do I dream about?’’

‘’No I mean what’s a dream you have for your life, ignoring the whole Hydra/Shield thing’’.

She’s warm now wrapped in his arms and the blankets, snuggling into his chest, it takes a moment for him to answer.

‘’For someone to like me, not love, just enjoy being around me, I don’t think anyone ever has’’.

Daisy is glad he can’t see her face because her eyes tear up and her heart breaks for him.

Here is a man who asked for love his entire life and only got hate in return.

‘’House, wife and kids, so I’d never have to be alone again. I’ve spent most of my adult life on my own, I don’t want to do that anymore’’.

She doesn’t know all of his demons but she does know about his awful childhood and John Garrett leaving him out in the woods when he was fifteen.

‘’I like you I think’’. She admits quietly, drawing a pattern on his belly button, the alcohol giving her courage to admit things she’d never say sober.

Shock has his body rigid as he sucks in a sharp breath, ‘’you do?’’

_‘’There are things about me that you wouldn’t like if you knew’’._

_‘’You were right about one thing, I wouldn’t like the real you’’._

‘’I don’t hate you anymore Ward, I haven’t for a while’’.

He runs a hand down her back, ‘’what changed your mind?’’

Burying her face in his skin she says, ‘’my mom died’’.

She’s not ready to tell him that the someday he talked about is here, or dive into the past where she found her parents only to lose them.

He kisses the top of her head, ‘’I’m so sorry’’.

They don’t say anything for a while when he suddenly murmurs quietly, ‘’I like you too’’.

She’s smiling with her head against his heart, ‘’I noticed’’.

They both fall asleep with grins on their faces, both holding happiness in their arms that they wouldn’t want to give up.

 

The next morning she’s walking through the Playground toying with the small slip of paper between her fingers slowly, having already memorized the words written in black ink. She should have thrown it away back at the safe house, not carried it with her into the Playground like it’s a mission report or her laptop. She’s on her way to her room not to toss it in the trash but to lock it up in a box in the closet with all the rest. There are currently seven written in Grant Ward’s hand writing, each letter perfectly neat and straight, no smudges or awkward angles.

 

This morning she woke alone in the safe house, it’s a rare occurrence that Ward skips out before her but if he does, he leaves these notes on his pillow for her to find once she’s awake. The first time he did it Daisy never spoke about it, and since she didn’t voice a protest Grant decided to continue. She’ll never admit that she lays on his side of the bed reading that small folded paper every time, or that his words put her in a good mood.

 

It’s a far cry from what happens when she leaves first which is more often than not, she makes coffee and slams the door on her way out, he never complains. It’s not a relationship, there’s no need for feelings or emotions, they use each other for a high, to forget about the harshness of their world for a moment. Ignoring the phone vibrating in her back-pocket Daisy unlocks her bunk and grabs the box from the closet, pausing to brush over the various colored papers in black and blue ink.

 

A couple of them are simply just saying goodbye or until next time, one actually says, _‘’I can do this all day’’._ Which she laughed about for days afterwards. But recently he’s decided to come up with earthquake puns and it makes her smile. One of them says, _‘’you make me quake’’_ another, _‘’you must be an earthquake because I’m trembling’’_ , and the one he left this morning, _‘’you shook me all the night long’’._ That one might be her favorite so far.

 

Lying to herself is getting harder and harder, because Ward is starting to mean more to her than she counted on.


	3. We Made Each Other Bleed & We Tasted It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy realizes her true feelings for Ward after she's captured by the enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love them so much, only one more chapter to go! We're visiting Maveth in chapter 4 so brace yourselves.
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting!

 

“Buy you a drink pretty lady?’’ Daisy traces the rim of her glass and glances over at the man beside her. Seated on a bar stool dressed in a red t-shirt and jeans, blonde hair fluffed and shiny with bright green eyes, Daisy nods even though she doesn’t want to. She’ll blame it on the alcohol, the world is a blur of neon bar lights and beer, ice cubes, vodka with cherries, salt and lime. Music is loud and makes her head hurt but every time she tries to stand the floor grows too slippery to walk. 

 

She got here an hour ago to meet Ward but he hasn’t shown up and won’t answer the phone. Annoyed, she started drinking and hasn’t stopped since, the tequila and whiskey doing their job perfectly. Before this guy showed up she was going to crawl to the hotel room she rented for the night and forget about Grant altogether, but now there’s a pretty distraction in front of her with a nice smile and arm muscles for miles.

 

Her limbs move slower, everything feels heavy and free as another hour ticks by. Strange hands on her shoulders, ice cold against her teeth, head throbbing. Blonde hair guy laughs at something she says and it makes her head throb even further. Normally Daisy never lets herself go this much, getting wasted as a spy under a secret organization is a bad idea for a number of reasons, but if there was an emergency she’s not coherent enough to defend herself or others.

 

But the mission today went south and they lost a few agents, all she wanted when it was over was to lose herself in Ward and fall asleep against his chest. Daisy has a bad taste in her mouth as the stranger helps her off the bar stool his hands on her hips, sharp fingernails poking through the material of her shirt. She can hardly focus on anything at this point her tongue feels thick behind her lips, she can’t feel her arms or legs.

 

 If she were home at the Playground she’d welcome this feeling, knowing it’d knock her out and someone would help her to her bunk. But that’s not happening now and she’s tripping over her own feet can’t make out what she’s saying, if words are even coming out at this point. Foreign hand clutching her short hair suddenly, her back pressed against something hard, black spots dance at the edge of her vision as the blonde man leans into her face.

 

Daisy thinks she protests but he’s ignoring her, fists his hands in her shirt. It’s the last thing she remembers before it all fades into oblivion.

 

A light tapping noise awakes her, like someone’s impatient fingernail is striking a wall over and over and over again. Daisy keeps her eyes closed and tries to make out her surroundings, even briefly brushes into those early training sessions with Ward all that time ago. If you wake up in enemy territory feign sleep as long as you can, take inventory of yourself, try to figure out where you are and how to get out. Strike once their guard is down, keep moving until you’re safe, then call the team.

 

Her body is numb but she can wiggle her hands and feet, wherever she is it’s cold and dark, smells of dust and paint. There’s something weighing her wrists down but it isn’t until she cracks an eye open that she spots the silver against her skin, power inhibitors. Locked around both arms she can’t feel the familiar vibrations in her blood, the hum of everything and everyone around her is mute, just like she never had powers at all.

 

So she can’t tell if she’s alone or not, taking a risk she opens an eye and sighs in relief when the small room she’s in turns up empty. She’s lying on a dirt floor, besides a door, a single chair and one window, the place is bare. Daisy struggles to remember what happened, how she got here, the last thing she recalls is downing a tequila shot the blonde guy paid for. It’s fuzzy after that, checking to be sure she’s physically intact and all her clothes are on, she relaxes back against the floor.

 

It clearly wasn’t some random capture considering the inhibitors on her wrists, it’s someone who knows that she’s Inhuman, and if they know that they have to know she works for Shield. The Watchdogs more than likely, there’s a whisper in the back of her brain that says otherwise though and she’s refusing to consider it until more information reveals itself.  Daisy rests there her cheek pressed against the dirt back to the door, for an hour until someone finally joins her.

 

The door opens with a loud scrape and the tapping noise she keeps hearing stops, she counts three bodies walking inside talking quietly amongst themselves. 

 

‘’You think she’s awake?’’

‘’Go over there and find out’’.

‘’Hell no I’m not getting anywhere near her, you know who that is’’.

‘’Bitch has power inhibitors on she can’t hurt anyone’’.

‘’Not to mention she’s probably still drunk, on top of the drugs Adam slipped in her drink she’s barely going to be able to move’’.

Daisy inwardly kicks herself, it’s Rule Number One to never accept a drink from a stranger. She was pretty wasted but still Simmons is never going to let her live this down.

‘’Are we sure she’s still passed out?”

‘’Check yourself’’.

‘’Pass’’.

‘’You two are morons, I’ll find out’’.

A pair of heavy boots walks over to her and the toe of the shoe presses harshly into her ribs, she doesn’t flinch.

‘’Out cold’’.

‘’Stan grab a bucket of cold water, time for Sleeping Beauty to rise and shine’’.

‘’Shouldn’t we tie her up or something? Just because she doesn’t have her powers doesn’t mean she can’t kick our asses’’.

‘’You’re being paranoid Lee’’.

‘’Am I? That’s Daisy Johnson she’s one of the best agents Shield has ever seen, pretty sure she doesn’t need her powers to destroy us’’.

There’s a sigh and the one closest to her says, ‘’there’s rope by the front door, grab that and we’ll tie her to this chair’’.

‘’Better hope this plan works Stan’’.

‘’Shut up and do it’’.

Silence follows until the three of them close in and start to grab her.

 

Daisy plans her attack perfectly, she was trained by Melinda May and Grant Ward after all. Though her movements are slowly than they should be on account of the alcohol and drugs, she still manages to take them by surprise. Hands yank her arms and she leaps up and to grab them, breaking a hand and spraining the wrists of the other.  One man manages to land a punch to her face but she brushes it off and keeps going, makes a mistake six seconds in.

 

So used to her powers and using them on instinct Daisy holds out a hand, her brain not catching up to reality just yet. One of the three guys is by the door holding a gun, Daisy does what she always has in that situation but of course nothing happens, she’s once again not invincible from bullets. The shot strikes her in the leg, hitting nothing vital but still burns like a hot branding iron is shoved into her thigh. Crumpling from the pain and gritting her teeth she applies pressure to the wound carefully.

 

Seeing as she’s down for the count the three men while groaning and cursing from their injuries still manage to tie her to the chair. The one named Lee comes back with a shirt and wraps it around her leg tightly, which means they plan on keeping her alive for a reason. Staring each one of them down in a glare she learned from May, their fingers tremble and they glance at each other nervously as if realizing what a huge mistake this was.

 

‘’All you have to do is tell us where the Playground is and we’ll let you go’’. 

Daisy spits out blood onto the floor, ‘’who do you work for?’’ 

Their answer makes her freeze, makes everything inside fall apart.

‘’Hail Hydra’’.

And just like that she’s Skye all over again sobbing in a bathroom over the man she trusted with everything she had, who turned out to be nothing but a liar. 

‘’You work for Hydra?’’

Daisy asks, managing to choke out the words her body turning ice cold and hollow.

Lee smiles and gets close to her face, places a hand on the arm of the wooden chair.

‘’Hell yeah we do, and I promise we’ll let you walk out of here if you tell us where the Playground is’’.

The only response he gets is a head-butt to the face.

 

The trio leaves her alone for a moment and she takes the opportunity to absorb exactly what’s happening right now. Ward’s men drugged her in a bar the same one she was supposed to meet him at, how could that be a coincidence? All to figure out where the Playground is? Why wouldn’t Ward do it himself? It just doesn’t make sense, Daisy can’t reconcile the man she’s slept beside for months now with the one that’s responsible for this, it doesn’t add up.

 

She thinks back to the moments they spent together, his tender touch on her skin, the sound of his laughter low in her ear. Visions of him falling apart beneath her, eating late night take out in bed her feet in his lap. How could this happen? Did she really let her guard down twice around him and both times he took advantage?  The power inhibitors seem like the worst thing he could order them to do, it feels like Ward is trying to strip away what makes her Daisy.

 

That hurts worse than anything, and the fact that she didn’t realize how much she trusted him until he ripped that away again. Daisy feels that familiar pain wedge it’s sharp and bitter edges into her ribs, suffocating and choking her. How could he put her through this twice, why did she let him? Was she really blinded by the sex and late night talks that she forgot the kind of person he was? Grant Ward uses people, he’s a master manipulator and he’s clearly never going to change that.

 

Has he really been using her this entire time just to get to this moment? Why did she fall for his cheekbones and sob story, why couldn’t she have been made of stone like May? Daisy made sure to build up a wall around her heart after the Ward and Garrett thing, but somehow someway he scaled them again all these years later and she let him. Daisy isn’t sure who she hates more in this situation, Ward or herself.

 

She can’t afford to have a meltdown right now so she stores away all the grief, sorrow and anger for later, right now she needs to focus on staying alive and getting out. Blinking back tears and taking a deep breath, Skye melts away and Agent Daisy Johnson, Quake, takes over. The bullet in her leg is causing her vision to be spotty, voices are muddled sounds as if everything is underwater. If the wound isn’t taken care of soon she could die, she has to get out of these ropes first.

 

The three men come back just as she’s started to loosen the ropes on her legs. 

‘’You’ll bleed out from the bullet, you know that right?’’

‘’Tell us where your base of operations is and we’ll patch up the wound for you’’.

‘’We could just call Phil Coulson ourselves and make a deal’’.

They perk up at that and one of them yells, ‘’grab her phone! We’ll contact him through that’’.

Daisy chuckles because everyone knows her as a Shield agent, no one remembers Skye the Hacker, the consultant for Shield before it fell.

‘’Good luck with that’’.

Her phone is on the floor by the door and they spend twenty minutes attempting to get into it, they fail of course.

They start getting angry then, yelling at her, using all kinds of threats to make her talk, nothing works.

‘’Bullets won’t work but maybe our fists will’’.

A hit to her stomach and jaw is as far as they get before the door flies open.

‘’What the hell is going on here?’’

 

The same voice she’s grown to find comfort in, the one she craves at night when she’s alone, sounds enraged as the room turns quiet. The room spins and whirls as Ward steps into the small space and when he meets her eyes, fire lights his own when he realizes exactly what’s happening. It’s a good show and if she didn’t already know exactly who was responsible for putting her in this situation, she’d believe he had no idea about any of it.

 

If he’s pissed it’s nothing compared to what she feels the second they come face to face, the desire to shoot him four more times is so strong she’s shaking, longs to feel a gun between her fingers. ‘’Skye?’’ The name she had so long ago belonging to the same woman who fell for his lies the first time, falls from his lips and she nearly slips up. The look on his face gives her pause as he takes in the blood on the floor, on her face, how pale she is.

 

‘’Director we didn’t think’’- He cuts off Stan with a wave of his hand and approaches her, says nothing as he bends down to cut the ties off her wrists and ankles. Runs a thumb along her eyebrow concern so heavy in his gaze it trips her up, then he takes off the power inhibitors and it feels as if she can breathe again. While her powers come back in a rush Ward turns so he’s standing in front of her, before anyone can blink he pulls out a gun and shoots all three of the Hydra agents.

 

Daisy wants to scream and yell and punch him but the bullet in her leg is causing everything to fade, the drugs and alcohol in her system is still making everything sluggish and slow. ‘’Let me see your leg’’. His voice is barely above a whisper and sounds as if he’s choking on something, fingers are gentle as they brace against her shoulders to keep her from falling. The last thing she sees before it all goes black is Ward’s worried expression as she leans against his chest.

 

Daisy wakes to cold tile on her skin and the taste of vomit on her lips. With a groan she opens her eyes expecting to wince at bright lights, but wherever she is its low lit and warm. It takes a second to discover that her face is resting against a soft hotel pillow, body covered by a blanket. Rubbing her eyes she does a quick inventory of herself, killer headache, back aches something awful, sore throat. She’s lying on a bathroom floor close to the toilet, a small trash can by her right foot.

 

Rolling her head in the direction of the shower she comes face to face with Ward who’s sitting against the tub, legs crossed at the ankle, watching her carefully. 

 

‘’Are you awake this time?’’

His voice is low and comforting as she sits up and leans against the toilet bowl.

‘’I think so. Did I pass out on the floor?’’

Shaking his head he grabs a glass of water off the bathroom counter and hands it to her.

‘’You crawled in here a few hours ago and kept throwing up, figured grabbing you a pillow and blanket would be easier’’.

She drains the glass before responding, ‘’oh. Have you been up all night?’’

‘’Wanted to make sure you were okay’’.

Daisy wouldn’t have stayed if their roles were reversed, she might have made sure there was water waiting for him but she wouldn’t have stayed to make sure he was alive in the morning.

‘’How badly are you hurt?’’

 

Her thoughts from earlier make an appearance and she feels her stomach roll, is violently ill in the toilet, shrinks away when Ward holds her hair back. God if he really was involved how is she going to handle that? How could he do this to her twice? Daisy wipes her mouth and curls into the blanket and pillow away from Ward, looking at him is making the pain he caused once cut into her heart. When he leaves the bathroom she cries into the soft fabric her shoulders shaking, wondering what the hell she thought would happen when she kissed him again.

 

There’s a bottle of pain pills on the counter which she swallows gratefully, there’s gauze on her bare leg which means he patched her up and stayed up all night to make sure she was alright. She’s putting on a brave face acting as if nothing’s changed, doesn’t care if he sees right through it. Daisy showers and thinks about the hours after the Providence Base, when she found out the man behind the mask and how she played him. Is this really happening again? Did he really get under her skin twice and break her heart? That small whisper that says he did, also fights with a whisper that says he didn’t.

 

Why would he take care of her if he ordered the kidnap and torture? Why would he kill his own men for it if he put them up to it? If Ward truly had nothing to do with it, she needs answers. After brushing her teeth three times and washing her face she grabs the clothes he must have bought and throws them on, the black hoodie is made of cotton and is so soft against her skin. Walking into the bedroom with a limp Ward is pacing the space between the T.V. and patio door, there’s food on the table in the kitchen.

 

The relief on his face is strong as she walks in, he stops pacing and glances at her leg. ‘’I ordered room service if you’re hungry, the drugs should be out of your system by now’’. Glancing at the table he ordered all of her favorite dishes, she’s surprised he remembered. She walks over to a plate and munches on a handful of fries, but her appetite is gone and it has nothing to do with being captured or drugged. 

 

Not being able to stand being in the same room without knowing the truth she turns around as Ward comes up to her and takes her in his arms. Not realizing the turmoil she feels, just like last time. He sighs against her hair and cradles her close, Daisy longs to sink into him and fall back asleep in that warm bed and forget about the world for a moment. But she can’t ignore the hot sting of betrayal in her ribs even if her brain is telling her it’s wrong.

 

‘’Did you know what they were going to do?’’

Ward immediately tenses and releases her, looks down to see she’s serious and disbelief crosses his face.

‘’Excuse me?’’

Taking a step back that old hatred starting to spread because if he really had anything to do with this she might kill him, ‘’answer the question Ward’’.

It’s them on the Bus after Providence all over again as he stares at her with wide eyes, like he can’t believe a word of what she’s saying.

‘’You’re serious’’.

‘’Answer me’’. Her fingers twitch and he follows the movement, it won’t be like last time at all, he can’t over power her.

‘’Do you honestly think I would let that happen?’’ He points to his chest and the raw emotion in his voice has her shrinking back.

_‘’Do you think I had a part in that? That I would let that happen to you?’’_

They’re coming around full circle and Daisy shakes with the weight of old pain and new.

‘’I don’t know Ward they were your guys, they grabbed me at the same bar I was meeting you at. What am I supposed to think?’’

‘’You’re supposed to trust me’’.

‘’Then tell me the truth’’.

‘’I am. I promised I’d never lie to you, Daisy I will never be a part of something that would hurt you again’’.

‘’So it’s just a coincidence that your agents took me at a bar we were meeting at?’’

He crosses his arms, ‘’yes. I’m assuming they pulled this to try and impress me I don’t know, we have rules against involvement with Shield or Inhumans’’.

Daisy rubs her eyes and feels tears sting them, ‘’why were you late to the bar?’’

‘’I had a meeting that ran long, I sent you a message’’.

Feeling light headed she sits on the bed and watches Ward hesitantly approach her.

‘’Daisy you have to believe me I had nothing to do with this, I had no idea those idiots were planning something like that’’.

 

There’s a war in her head saying he’s not lying, that she should fall into his arms and believe him because he’s been nothing but trustworthy since they started this. But there’s the other part that hasn’t forgiven him for all the terrible things he’s done, that side is winning. She feels him crouch in front of her and place a hand on her knee, it burns and she rises from the mattress to stand beside the patio door. He’s looking at her the same way he did on the Bus, like she’s about to slip far away from his grasp.

 

It hits her all at once, the late night, the hangover and being drugged, the suspicion that Ward somehow pulled the strings in her kidnapping. The fact that she somehow forgot he was the enemy and has been sleeping with him for months, it crashes into her shoulders to the point where it’s hard to breathe. Wrapping her arms around herself she shakes her head at Grant as tears form in her eyes.

 

‘’How could I possibly believe you?’’

Anger flashes in his gaze, ‘’because I would never hurt you’.

‘’That’s all you ever do Ward’’.

He scoffs and puts his hands on his hips, ‘’I made a mistake one time, I betrayed your trust once and because of that you think I would let some assholes drug you? That I would stand by and let you get shot?’’

There’s venom in her voice when she responds, ‘’you did once before’’.

Ward shakes his head and looks at the ceiling, ‘’I told you I didn’t know that was going to happen, thought you believed me. I’ve lied about a lot of things but I’ve never lied to you, and I would never let anyone hurt you if I could put a stop to it’’.

The absolute promise in his voice, the passion confuses her even further.

‘’God this was a mistake’’. She mutters after a while, pacing the room.

Ward is quiet for so long and then he says, ‘’what’s a mistake?’’

‘’This’’.

She gestures between them, ‘’you and I thinking this would work out, you’re the Director of Hydra for god sake, you tried to kill my friends’’-

‘’This again, yes Daisy I’m a monster who wants nothing more than to kill everyone you love. Go ahead and say it’’.

‘’That’s not’’-

‘’Let me remind you that it wasn’t me who started this. You came to me remember? Not the other way around’’.

‘’I know’’.

‘’You’re the one who tracked me down in Canada, I wanted nothing to do with Shield or the team, or you’’.

‘’I remember’’.

‘’I wasn’t the one who took off all my clothes and’’-

‘’Screw you Ward’’.

Gathering her phone she walks past him so angry and tired, head aching. 

‘’Next time you want to get laid don’t call me’’.

Is the last thing she says to him before walking out the door, leaving a familiar heartbroken Ward behind.

 

When she makes it to the Playground she goes into Coulson’s office and tells him what happened, that Ward was the one who got her out. She doesn’t tell him anything else regarding Ward, but perhaps when years pass and the sting isn’t still so fresh she’ll admit it. After being checked out by Simmons who places fresh gauze on the wound and tells her to rest, Daisy crawls into her bunk and pulls out her phone. He hasn’t tried to reach out, she blocks his number to guarantee he can’t.

 

The team comes into her room every so often to check on her and asks if she needs anything, Hunter brings her a bottle of Scotch and Bobbi asks if she needs to kick anyone’s ass. It’s obvious they all know that Ward was responsible for getting her out alive but they don’t bring it up. As the hours pass and Daisy realizes the team is leaving her alone finally to sleep, she lets the tears fall. Wanting to believe Grant but their past preventing her from doing so, even of logic is on his side.

 

A month passes before someone brings up Ward, she and Mack are training in the gym working out her leg when they stop for water and he keeps staring at her. 

Wiping the sweat from her brow she asks, ‘’what?’’

‘’You want to talk about it?’’

‘’Talk about what?’’

He throws his sweaty towel at her, ‘’come on Tremors you were kidnapped, that wouldn’t be easy for anybody’’.

She stretches and ignores the ache in her chest at the thought of Grant, ‘’it’s not really the kidnapping thing that’s bothering me’’.

Mack hesitates but then says, ‘’is it Ward?’’

She hasn’t heard from him in weeks.

Daisy takes a long sip of water, ‘’no’’.

With a sigh she unfurls on her partner what’s been going on these past months without using Ward’s name of course.

‘’Long story short we got in a fight and I think my part in it was a mistake’’.

 

Coulson and Bobbi did some research into the men who took Daisy and it was revealed they’d only been in Hydra for a couple weeks when the captured her. Daisy was also able to track down off the record the people Ward met with that day and was able to confirm he was in a meeting at the time everything went down. Was she wrong? Yes. But Daisy thinks her reasoning was justified, Ward has been known to betray people he cares about, why should she expect anything different?

 

It was an odd tragic misunderstanding that she didn’t wait around to listen to him explain, which she should have. Daisy tells Mack she doesn’t know what to do as they sit on the workout mats and he’s pretending not to notice the tears on her cheeks.

 

‘’Sounds like this argument was because you don’t trust him’’.

‘’I thought I did, but then something happened and I instantly went to blaming him for it’’.

‘’Maybe you should sit down and just talk to him, explain why you were upset, he can tell you how he feels and you go from there’’.

Daisy then admits something she’s never said aloud and only came to the realization last week.

‘’I don’t want to lose him’’.

Mack lightly gives her shoulder a punch, ‘’it’s simple then D, don’t’’.

 

Which is how she finds herself in a hotel bar three days later in London waiting on Ward, she unblocked his number but sent him a message through a secure app they used to use when this thing between them first started. Surprised he actually agreed to come Daisy orders another club soda and wipes her sweaty palms on a napkin, keeps checking the front door every thirty seconds. Finally he arrives and her breath hitches at the sight of him, Daisy could slap herself for the ridiculous reaction.

 

Whiskey eyes latch onto her as he saunters up to the bar, doesn’t say a word except to order a drink. Dressed in a dark leather jacket and jeans he looks as attractive and dangerous as he did when they first met. Ward has always been a sensitive subject for as long as she’s known him and it seems even worse now, she wrote him off for his past sins and didn’t give him a chance to explain himself. He’s not going to make this easy on her and she doesn’t blame him.

 

He takes a sip of alcohol before she dives in.

‘’I’m sorry’’.

‘’Are you?’’

‘’I automatically assumed you had something to do with it and I shouldn’t have’’.

‘’They were my guys, I should have been watching them more closely’’.

‘’It wasn’t your fault Ward’’.

‘’But it was my responsibility’’.

‘’Either way the way I handled it wasn’t okay’’.

He’s still not looking at her, ‘’in your defense you had every right not to believe me, it did look suspicious’’.

‘’Don’t let me off the hook Ward I wasn’t fair to you’’.

‘’I agree, but I hurt you Daisy in ways I can never forgive myself for. I understand your reaction all things considered’’.

Since he brought up the past first she takes a deep breath and doesn’t hold back, ‘’I’m not ready to forgive you for any of it’’.

‘’I know’’.

‘’But I do understand why you did some of the things you did’’.

He sucks in a sharp breath and looks at her with wide eyes, fear in the very backs of them.

_‘’Someday you’ll understand’’._

‘’Garrett brainwashed you, it wasn’t all your fault. I should have told you that sooner’’.

Grant runs a hand down his face, ‘’can we not talk about John?’’

‘’Okay. I really am sorry Ward’’.

He sighs before scooting closer, ‘’I’m sorry too, for everything’’.

She reaches over to touch his hand but instead he threads their fingers together and sets them on his leg.

She watches him take a drink and wonders if this month apart has been as hard for him as it has her.

‘’Whatever this is between us I don’t want it to end’’.

Part of screams to say something mean so he doesn’t get the wrong impression.

But the other, the one that’s exhausted in regards to being so bitter about Ward says to follow his lead.

Daisy sighs and lets these weeks fall away, their fight and tries honesty.

‘’Me either’’.

Something has shifted between them and she doesn’t know what it is, all she knows that all the pain she had for him in that hotel room weeks ago is fading.

He finishes his drink and in a move that takes her by surprise he kisses her.

Ward tastes like whiskey and regret but she kisses him back with everything she has.

They break for air and he’s still holding her hand when he says, ‘’so I was thinking you and me, wrong foot can I buy you a drink?’’

Daisy grins against his lips one hand on the back of his neck and nods, kissing him again.

 

She never realized how much she wanted Ward until he was gone, and how much she wants to keep him around no matter what. 

 

_‘’I’m no Clairvoyant, but I do believe some things are meant to be’’._


	4. I Try to Refrain But You're Stuck In My Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward is there when Daisy needs him the most, and Coulson closes in on Hydra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said we'd be going to Maveth this chapter but I decided to split it up instead, so we'll visit that awful alien planet in the next one.
> 
> Please feel free to comment!

 

_Cold hands wrap around her throat, nails digging into skin, warm brown eyes the same as Daisy’s stare back in an expression so hollow it couldn’t possibly be her mother. But it is, and no matter how much Daisy tries to convince herself the person attempting to end her life isn’t the same one who gave birth to it, no amount of lies will make it any less true. Daisy hears herself begging for Jiaying to stop this but her mother continues to drain everything from her only daughter, until someone rips her away._

_With the sound of bones breaking and a startled gasp, something Daisy won’t ever be able to forget, Cal sobs as his wife’s body crumples into his chest. The knowledge of what has just happened has a knife slashing through Daisy’s ribs as she sinks to the ground across from her father, the only man who’s loved her unconditionally all his life. They lock eyes as Jiaying takes her final breath, the sun shining warmly behind them, Daisy is the only one who will remember this day._

_The day where she lost the mother she’d spent her entire life looking for, and the day her father will never be able to come back from. The image fades and suddenly she’s saying goodbye to Cal in the hallway of the Playground, they’re smiling as tears stream down their faces and she’s hugging him goodbye._

_‘’Let me guess, the best day ever? You have a lot of those’’._

_‘’No, just one. July Second’’._

_Then he’s walking away and she wants to run and hold him one more time tell him she loves him, that she might forgive him one day but then he’s gone too quick to catch, and the doors to the Playground seem to close forever._

 

Daisy wakes with a strangled cry her chest aching and heart racing, she can feel sweat on her back and she can’t seem to regulate her breathing. The darkness of the room causes more panic to set in because she doesn’t really remember where she is, the bed is unfamiliar and too warm, everything feels spinning and beyond her control, she can still feel her father pulling her close. See him leaving her forever after having just found each other again, can still see the life leaving her mother as Cal wept into her hair.

 

Water bottles on the nightstand shake, the windows rattle, Daisy’s throat is tight and she doesn’t even notice she’s crying until the taste of salt falls onto her lips. Just when the pain stretches into her heart it feels as if it’s going to rip out of her body, warm arms wrap around her and a soothing voice whispers in her ear. ‘’Hey it’s okay, you’re alright it was just a dream’’. Ward holds her shaking body in his arms and after taking a deep breath she curls into his chest.

 

Eventually her breathing slows and she stops trembling, Ward wipes the remaining tears off her cheeks as he whispers over and over that she was only dreaming, that everything is okay. Glad she didn’t wake up alone to face the horror story that her family became like she used to, Daisy sinks into his hold until it feels like the remaining pieces of her heart are back inside her chest. She doesn’t know that it took nearly an hour for her to calm down, or that she was calling out for Cal and Jiaying in her sleep.

 

But Ward does and he holds her as close as he can, still not knowing the tragedy that befell her parents, but knows that she’s carrying around a pain that wasn’t there before when they first met. The dream slowly burns away but Daisy doesn’t come out of the shelter of Ward’s arms, she stays there and uses the training both he and May ingrained into her until the terrible dream that was reality a year ago only lingers in the back of her mind.

 

She feels Ward stretch out against her and the bedside light switches on, Ward’s fingers are drawing soothing slow circles into her spine and he plants a soft kiss against her hair, occasionally whispering words in her ear in a mix of Russian and German. No longer plagued by the nightmare Daisy looks up at Ward who meets her stare with nothing but understanding and a little concern. He starts rubbing her shoulders as she wipes the sweat from her brow.

 

He doesn’t ask if she’s okay but she’s clearly not, something she’s grateful for. When she rises from the bed and starts walking to the bathroom all he asks is if she needs anything, she responds no and locks the door as she starts a cold shower. The hotel bathroom is small but the shampoo smells like coconuts, Daisy washes her hair twice, the cool temperature of the water helping to clear the ghosts in her mind. When she comes into the bedroom a few minutes later Ward is in the same position she left him.

 

Leaning against the headboard, shirtless with the sheets pooling at his waist, cheeks are a tad flushed and his hair mused from sleep. But his eyes are wide and alert as she drops the towel and buries herself in the covers beside him, wrapping herself around him and laying her head on his chest. In turn Ward does the same, his nose pressed against her hair as she shuts the light off, plunging them into darkness once more but the shadows no longer bother her.

 

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ Since they both confessed a few weeks ago that they didn’t want things to end between them, Daisy has found herself opening up to him more. He doesn’t know everything but he knows bits and pieces of her life after he was exiled from the team. She’s not quite ready to tell him she understands why he did the things he did, or that they’ve always been two sides of the same coin, something she’s truly believed for years now.

 

But Ward has always had this habit of understanding her on a deeper level than anyone else, always been able to burrow underneath her skin and see the parts she hides from the world, he doesn’t shy away from what he sees like other people might. Ward holds all of that in the palm of his hand and accepts her without hesitation, always has if she’s being honest. Grant is the one person who recognizes the ghosts that haunt her sometimes and instead of running he supports her through it.

 

He’s more valuable to her than he knows, and Daisy is starting to understand just how much she doesn’t want to give him up, and she’d do whatever it took to keep him in her life. Closing her eyes because it seems easier to confess in the dark, she takes a deep breath.

 

‘’I had a dream about my mom’s death’’.

He starts running a hand through her hair, his other wrapped firmly around her.

‘’I’ve never told you what happened that day, why my parents aren’t around’’.

‘’You don’t have to’’.

‘’It’s okay I want to, it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to about it’’.

Everyone on the team including Coulson shies away from the topic so she stopped bringing it up.

‘’I thought all my mom wanted was for us to be one big happy family, you know the kind I always fantasized about when I was a kid. I thought we shared the same dream’’.

But they didn’t, Jiaying only used that to get close to her daughter.

She took that little girl inside Daisy who always searched for a home and destroyed her.

Maybe that’s why it was easier to become Daisy Johnson, since her parents ruined Skye.

‘’But she lied she just used me to get what she wanted and when I objected to her psycho plan she locked me up and then tried to kill me’’.

Daisy can hear the emptiness in her own voice, the dead weight of the tragedy that probably won’t ever leave her.

Ward tenses on the last bit and holds her closer, his arms seeming to keep her glued together.

‘’And then Cal stopped her, he killed his wife to save me’’.

She’s crying again, watches with blank interest as tears collect onto Ward’s skin before dripping off.

‘’There was no way Cal would be able to live with something like that so I sent him through Tahiti’’.

The last time she saw him drifts through her mind, how he smiled at her like he would a stranger, because that’s all she’ll ever be to him now.

‘’I spent my life chasing after my parents only to lose them both’’.

Grant wraps both arms around her back and she turns so she’s sprawled across his chest, cheek pressed against his heart.

‘’I forgave them for everything, wish I could tell them that’’.

She’s never told anyone that, not even Simmons or May.

‘’They know’’.

He says this with such conviction, such unshakeable belief that Daisy finds herself agreeing with something her heart already knew.

Feeling some of that heaviness evaporate from her bones Daisy snuggles close and feels sleep already beginning to sweep over her again.

‘’Thank you’’. She tells him softly and feels a kiss against her forehead.

‘’Thank you for telling me, I’ll always be here if you want to talk’’.

Daisy falls asleep to the sound of Ward’s breathing and doesn’t dream again.

 

When she wakes it’s nearly six a.m. and she’s holding a note that was left on Ward’s pillow. He went to work out at the hotel gym and then is getting them breakfast. After a warm shower and checking her email, Daisy is lacing up her boots when the door opens and Grant walks in. Dark hair still wet from the shower at the gym, he’s got a greasy bag in hand and a cardboard container of coffees, but that’s not what gives her pause as he sets the food and drinks down.

 

He’s wearing a dark blue Henley that she’s never seen before, so used to dark colors against his skin the lighter shade highlights those whiskey eyes and the sharpness of his cheekbones. It stretches perfectly across his shoulders emphasizing muscles that she ran her hands across just hours ago. Daisy is hit with a wave of fierce longing that’s so unexpected she stands and grabs the nearest coffee so she doesn’t throw herself at him.

 

Grant, unaware of her inner turmoil smiles and tells her good morning, kisses her cheek and hands her a breakfast sandwich from a nearby café. Something has shifted in between the month they spent apart and last night, being together doesn’t feel like a quick fix anymore to numb the pain of everyday life. They eat in silence at the table, she’s texting Mack and Ward is talking to someone at Hydra she assumes.

 

She’s wondering if he has any friends when he looks up at her and asks, ‘’busy today?’’

‘’Not that I know of, why?’’

He wipes his mouth with a napkin after taking a sip of coffee, ‘’I want to take you somewhere today if that’s okay, it’s a couple hours from here. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s not a date or anything’’.

She’s seen Agent Ward nervous at least once, but the real Ward sitting in front of her stammering over his words and giving her this puppy dog stare, it’s both unnerving and adorable.

Daisy takes a sip of coffee while asking Mack if he’s sure there’s nothing on the agenda for today.

He responds no so she tells Ward, ‘’I’m free. Where are we going?’’

Ward gives her a crooked grin that causes her stomach to flip, ‘’it’s a surprise’’.

They’re in the car a few minutes later after she purchased snacks and drinks for the drive.

‘’You’re not planning to murder me in the woods somewhere are you?’’

Ward laughs and merges onto the highway, their past causing him to check to make sure she’s actually joking.

When he sees the smile on her face he replies, ‘’depends’’.

‘’On what?’’

‘’You giving me that bag of gummy bears you think I don’t know you bought’’.

Rolling her eyes and holding back a grin she pulls the package out from under her leg, ‘’in my defense I thought you’d short circuit from just seeing them’’.

He opens the bag with his teeth and pops one in his mouth, leaving Daisy to gap at him.

‘’I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat sugar before’’.

Ward shrugs not wanting to bring up the mask of the man she thought she knew.

‘’Do you secretly splurge on junk food or is it still just a once in a while thing?’’

When he swallows loudly and doesn’t answer she says quietly, ‘’I know it wasn’t all a lie Grant’’.

Agent Ward never ate sweets and if he did it was only on rare occasion, she doesn’t know Ward’s actual opinion on the subject.

‘’I like gummy bears, but Red Vines are my favorite’’.

Daisy grins, ‘’mine too’’.

‘’I remember’’.

A small part of her says he did it on purpose, knew she loves Red Vines and used that as another tool in his arsenal to get close to her.

But she shoves that thought aside because Ward is very clearly not the same man who betrayed her years ago.

 

Learning to trust him hasn’t been an easy process, but over these months together she’s trusted him with her body, now the question is would she trust him with her heart again? Is that what this is turning into? Does she want that? Does she want to be in a relationship with someone her friends and family will never accept? Does she want to spend time lying to them, covering her tracks and sneaking around? Is he worth it? Is this thing between them really that important to her?

 

She spends the first hour and a half of the drive thinking about all of that and messing with the radio, while Ward seems content to sit in silence. They pull off the highway and head down a small road that curves to the left and is flanked by trees on either side. The ground is covered in leaves as fall approaches, the bright colors of autumn coming through. Daisy watches Ward as he rolls the windows down per her request, admires how he looks with the large trees beside him, a speck of black hair against bright oranges and fire reds.

 

‘’Are we there yet?’’ She’s kicked off her shoes and socks her arm hanging out the open window, the radio is set to an oldies station that’s currently playing an Elvis song. They’ve consumed all the snacks and coffee, they’re still on the road with all the trees but it’s already lost its appeal as she grows antsy. Ward takes a sip of water and tells her just a few more minutes, Daisy closes her eyes and must drift off because the next thing she knows Ward is gently shaking her awake.

 

They’re parked in front of a cabin, like an actual log cabin backed by trees, a dirt driveway and no other houses in sight. Ward says nothing as he gets out and opens her door, the air is crisp but not too cool, Daisy shrugs on her leather jacket and steps out, gravel crunches underneath her boots. It’s a small cabin with a red front door and a couple windows, a porch with a swing (something she’s always longed for if she ever had a home of her own.)

 

‘’Okay I know you’re not really into pop culture but there is a movie called’’-

‘’I know the movie, and trust me that’s not what this is’’.

Daisy looks over to Ward whose hands are shoved in his pockets and that nervous expression is back.

It’s like she walked into a picture perfect Hallmark movie but she’s not sure why.

‘’Why are we here?’’

The wind blows rustling the leaves on the grass, a bird chirps quietly nearby, the silence is welcoming.

Daisy is constantly surrounded by noise and people and the lack of both is inviting.

Grant shuffles on his feet as he ducks his head, ‘’it’s about an hour and a half away from the Playground’’.

‘’I know’’.

‘’It’s under an alias so it’s safe’’.

He’s never been hesitant like this at a safe house before so she’s genuinely confused.

‘’Did we just drive two hours to have sex in a cabin?’’

He sputters as the tips of his ears turn red and she recalls how fun it was to tease him way back when.

‘’It’s fine I’m just not sure why you went through all this trouble. This is one of your safe houses right?’’

She walks along the small home to check for a broken window or lock, possible entry points and finds none.

‘’It’s not a safe house’’.

Ward tells her when she comes back around, this time he’s pacing in front of the car.

‘’Oh my god spit it out Ward, what are we doing here? Why are you acting so weird?’’

He looks like he wants to jump back into the SUV and forget they were ever here.

‘’I bought it a couple weeks ago’’.

She crosses her arms, ‘’okay’’.

He rubs the back of his neck, ‘’and I was thinking if you wanted, you don’t have to, but instead of meeting at random hotels or safe houses where you risk getting caught, why not just come here every time?’’

It takes a second to absorb what he’s saying and once she does ice fear runs down her spine.

‘’You bought us a house?’’

Ward backpedals, ‘’no, god no. It’s just a mutual meeting spot where we can be together without anyone knowing’’.

The word together would make her cringe if this were a year ago, but instead Daisy finds the fear melting away and a smile forming on her face.

‘’Did you want it to be a house? Because I can, it’s’’-

‘’no, no the sex cabin is fine’’.

He laughs and lets out a sigh of relief as he holds out a key, ‘’want to go inside?’’

They walk to the front door as she says, ‘’please don’t carry me over the threshold’’.

‘’Wasn’t even thinking about it’’.

(He was but he’ll never tell her that.)

 

The interior is cozy with leather couches and a fireplace, there’s a bedroom and one bath, a small kitchen area. Pantry is stocked full of items with long shelf lives, there’s a first aid kit under the bathroom sink and a gun safe in the closet. Daisy stands by the couch and watches Ward who watches her, ‘’what do you think?’’ She takes off her jacket and kicks off her shoes, yanks her shirt over her head and that’s the only response he needs.

 

Soft sheets brush against bare skin, a quilt hugs her shoulder blades protecting her from the chill of the room. She and Ward are curled together in the king size bed, it takes up most of the room besides a small dresser and a recliner. The window isn’t too large and has a great view of outside, where trees are the only thing she can see. Daisy yawns and plants a kiss against his shoulder, Ward has been asleep for a few minutes now and she takes the rare opportunity to observe him.

 

He appears so young in his sleep, so innocent she could easily forget all the horrors this life subjected him to. He’s so different than the man she met a couple years ago, more relaxed but also on edge for different reasons. Agent Ward never let his guard down but this version of him is like an open book most of the time, always eager to share anything she demands to know. He appears happier too now, especially now that Garrett is no longer around, but she’s not about to open that flood gate.

 

It’s impossible to hate this man for the sins he committed in what feels like another life, he was brain washed and had no say in what he did. Daisy could easily see herself falling for him again and it terrifies her, but she just can’t deny that this could turn into something more if they’re not careful.

 

‘’I can’t sleep with you staring at me’’. He mutters causing her to jump.

‘’Your super spy skills are not appreciated’’.

Eyes still closed he smiles slightly and asks, ‘’you okay?’’

She sighs and leans into him, ‘’can’t sleep’’.

He moves so quickly she has no time to prepare as he suddenly looms over her, both hands on either side of her head.

‘’When do you have to go back?’’

He kisses a path down her throat as she squints at the watch on his wrist, ‘’we probably have a few more hours’’.

‘’Better get started then’’.

Her laugh is covered by his lips on hers.

 

A week later Daisy is walking down the halls of the Playground headed to the kitchen, she walks in and pours herself a cup of coffee. Checks her phone to find three messages from Coulson, two from Lincoln, and one from Jemma, nothing from Ward, they haven’t spoken or seen each other all week. Which is normal he’s busy, she’s busy, and it appears Coulson has made it his personal mission to find out what Hydra is up to, something she hasn’t told Ward.

 

It feels like a betrayal and there’s irony in there she’s not going to touch. Ward knows who she is just like she knows the organization he’s running these days. She has no loyalty to him just like he has no loyalty to Shield, yet that doesn’t keep her from feeling guilty as Coulson calls a meeting in his office. Fitzsimmons are sitting together on one of the couches, Mack, May and Lincoln are standing in front of Coulson who’s staring at something on his computer. Daisy takes a seat next to Simmons and they pass a fresh mug of coffee between them.

 

”What’s up guys?’’

It’s Coulson who speaks up, folding his hands atop his desk.

‘’I haven’t asked this of you yet because I know it’s a sensitive subject’’.

Fitz shoots her a nervous look that has Daisy bracing for the worst, she has a bad feeling about where this is headed, there’s only one subject that’s still relevant in all their lives.

May is glaring at Coulson so fiercely Daisy is surprised he keeps pushing forward with this meeting.

‘’Agent Johnson I need you to reach out to Ward’’.

Everyone stiffens at the mention of their former friend and teammate. 

‘’What?’’

Phil sighs softly, ‘’I’ve tried finding him with Hunter’s help but it’s impossible, Ward can be a ghost if he wishes’’.

Daisy curls her knees to her chest, ‘’and what makes you think I’d have any luck?’’

‘’Because if you can’t track him down you can lure him out’’.

Ice sweeps down her spine, ‘’you’re using me as bait’’.

Coulson’s expression is full of guilt and he refuses to meet May’s eyes, ‘’Hunter informed us this morning Hydra is planning something big, possibly dangerous. We need to stop Ward, whatever it is’’.

‘’You think I’m the best person to do that? He’s going to see right through a trap, I want nothing to do with Ward, he knows this’’.

‘’You were captured and he saved you, use that as an excuse for making contact’’.

Jemma places a comforting hand on her knee but she shakes it off and stands, ‘’Coulson you’re asking me to willingly walk into a dangerous situation with Grant Ward, you and I both know he’s never going back into Vault D, he’ll do anything to make sure that doesn’t happen’’.

‘’He won’t harm you’’.

The absolute belief in Coulson’s eyes as he says this has her faltering.

‘’Ward has always cared about you Daisy, isn’t that what you told me once? That he never lied to you, just wanted you to understand him’’.

‘’Ward can’t hurt me that’s not what this is about’’.

‘’Look all you have to do is set up a meeting place, tell him you want to talk about what happened when you were captured, say you’re struggling with it and need more details’’.

Daisy starts pacing, ‘’he’s not going to buy that, the last person I would ever turn to if I was struggling is Grant Ward’’.

It couldn’t be further from the truth but no one else knows that.

‘’Does it really matter if he does? All you need to do is get him alone, keep him talking until we get the upper hand and subdue him’’.

The way Coulson says this, the tinge of bitterness still in his voice causes her to say, ‘’you’re going to kill him’’.

He shrugs off her statement like murder, even if it is involving Grant Ward, isn’t a big deal.

‘’He’s grown too dangerous to be kept alive Daisy’’.

 

It’s on the tip of her tongue to defend him, to say that he never wanted any of this but she of course refrains. She has a flash of Ward sleeping soundly beside her, early morning sun lighting his face. Daisy doesn’t want him to die she realizes, the idea of him being hurt in any way has a knife slicing through her ribs. It’s a far cry from how she felt about it a year ago, and she has a sinking feeling it’s not just because of the fact they’ve been sleeping together for months.

 

Daisy knew she’d have to acknowledge her muddled feelings regarding Ward one day, just didn’t think it’d come so soon. In the nights and early afternoons they’ve spent together she’s seen a different side of him, pieces she thinks the rest of the world doesn’t. Like the way he always makes sure she’s covered with a blanket before they fall asleep, or if she’s had too much to drink there’s always Advil and water waiting when she wakes. 

 

The way he smiles at her when he thinks she’s not looking, how he throws his head back when he laughs, the way he comes apart above her as they’re covered in sweat, how he loves to hold her close afterwards. The man she met two years ago and the one she spends most of her nights with is so different, Ward is soft and gentle, tender and caring. Coulson isn’t wrong he is dangerous, but so is she, so is everyone on this base in one way or another.

 

Hell they’ve all done terrible things since Hydra revealed themselves, did Daisy not also make similar mistakes as Ward? Not for the first time she wonders why Grant was punished for following his parental figure into battle, but she was not for doing the exact same thing? Both Jiaying and John Garrett used their child to bring destruction upon who they thought was the enemy. Daisy and Ward followed because they thought they were doing the right thing for someone they loved. 

 

No one even talks about her betrayal or was angry about it afterwards, the team didn’t even consider it forgiveness because they didn’t think there was anything to forgive. So why was she let off the hook when Ward was imprisoned for six months, sent back to his abusive older brother, and then every single member of this team tried to kill him at least once? Why was she shown grace and kindness and he was not? How is any of that fair?

 

Knowing she can never tell her them any of this because they wouldn’t understand, Daisy takes a deep breath, already planning to lie and cover for Ward. She’s expecting to feel self-hatred to flow through her veins because she’s literally choosing Grant Ward over her family, who has every right to be angry at him for what he’s done, but instead it feels right. They may not understand or care why he did the things he did, but she does, and if she’s the only here who can protect him then so be it.

 

That cabin he bought comes to mind and she knows it’s not just somewhere to sneak off to even if Ward doesn’t, it means hope. Hope for something beyond what they have now, hope for a future she once thought turned to ash, lost in the wind. Because she finally understands him and wants redemption for him because Ward deserves it more than anyone, he’s a good man who got caught in a web of lies, a by-standard sucked into someone else’s war.

 

Ward is a victim in this scenario and yes he’s done horrible things and she’s not justifying any of it, however he doesn’t deserve to die for them. Looking into Phil’s eyes seeing nothing but hatred for the man she spends most of her free time with, Daisy pretends to be the agent May trained. She nods and accepts her orders without further protest. Coulson squeezes her shoulder and promises that she won’t really be alone with him at the meeting place, he’ll have agents dressed as civilians. 

 

Even if she didn’t plan on telling Grant what’s going on he’d still see right through this, it appears Coulson is the only one who thinks this plan won’t blow up in smoke. After a pep talk from Jemma and Fitz handing her a new com unit he recently designed that’s practically invisible, Daisy heads to her bunk. Everyone thinks she’ll spend a couple hours finding Ward, contact him and then get ready for the meeting place Coulson set up.

 

In reality she locks the door, turns on her laptop and plays the most recent playlist Lincoln sent her, and calls Grant who answers on the third ring. Before he can say hello she’s hissing, ‘’we have a problem’’.

 

Five hours later Daisy walks into the nicest restaurant she’s ever seen. Crystal chandeliers and golden walls, stark white tablecloths with diamond filled center pieces that gleam beautifully, candles next to them. Every patron is dressed like they are attending an event at the White House, women in glimmering ball gowns, jewelry shimmering against their skin. Men are dressed in perfectly pressed slacks and buttoned dress shirts, some have ties, others go without.

 

The dress she’s in is a peach colored number, tight with long sleeves, the hem ending at her shins. Paired with five inch heels and a platinum tennis bracelet from May, Daisy feels like she’s worth millions. Mack, Lincoln and three other agents are posted around the dining hall at various tables, even if she didn’t tell Ward they were there, he’d spot them in a few seconds. Fitz is in her hair directing her to the table she’s supposed meet Ward at, it’s a secluded one in the back near the back door.

 

Coulson’s plan was to meet Grant here but as the table comes into view it’s clear Ward is calling the shots. He’s sitting down with a smug expression on his face as she comes into view, no one watching could miss the hunger and longing in his eyes when he takes her in. Daisy and Ward have their own agenda walking into this, even though she tried to talk him out of coming at all. She’ll act like she still hates him because it’s expected, and Ward will act like the sarcastic asshole everyone thinks he is.

 

Since he knows about the trap Phil has set up Ward is going to make some dramatic exit, he wouldn’t go in detail but promised she’d be out of the line of fire. Daisy doesn’t think about how he’s only doing this for her, he could have blown her off when she called and not come to this restaurant at all. He’s putting himself at risk for no reason other than to help keep her cover at Shield. Because if anyone found out they’ve been sleeping together, it would be a very bad thing.

 

He stands when she reaches the table and it’s a struggle to remain composed. He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt the sleeves rolled up, dinner jacket resting on the back of the chair. Black slacks that leave little to the imagination, coupled with the stubble on his cheeks and fluffed hair, he looks good. So good she’s thinking about abandoning this meeting altogether and dragging him to the hotel a few blocks down. 

 

‘’Skye’’. He breathes her name as if she’s something out of a dream, playing a part as if she didn’t fall asleep in his arms a week ago. The chamber in her heart where all that bitterness regarding Ward lived isn’t as easy to tap into as before, she takes a second to get a glare right and drain her expression of emotion. Says nothing as she sits down and orders a glass of champagne, watches Ward like he’s a target, someone he trained to eliminate. 

 

‘’It’s Daisy’’. 

Ward takes a sip of water before replying, ‘’you’ll always be Skye to me’’.

‘’Skye took a back seat when you and John Garrett helped destroy Shield’’.

She warned him she may not hold back, he was expecting this and plays along.

He smiles into the glass, ‘’so the Ice Queen act is my fault then? Didn’t know I played such a huge role in your life Agent Johnson’’.

‘’I’m not here to reminisce Ward’’.

His eyes focus on her hair, the bracelet on her wrist, ‘’so what do you want? What does Phil Coulson’s best agent want with me?’’

Daisy softens her face, forces tears to swim into her eyes as she lowers her voice, ‘’I want to talk about what happened a couple weeks ago’’.

An eyebrow raised he asks, ‘’a phone call wouldn’t have sufficed?’’

She shrugs and wipes under her eyes as Ward winces, he always did hate to see her cry and wonders if the reaction is real.

‘’I wanted to talk face to face’’.

Ward keeps assessing her like she’s a broken puzzle piece he’s dying to repair, reminding her of the nightmare she had and how he held her until she fell asleep.

‘’Why?’’

She picks at the bleach white tablecloth, ‘’they were your agents Ward’’.

They’ve already had this conversation but it’s literally the only topic she could come up with. 

Ward prepared for this and responds like he’s supposed to.

Leans back in his chair and looks at her like he did on the Bus, in their hotel room, ‘’and you think I had something to do with it?’’

‘’It wouldn’t exactly shock me’’.

He shakes his head, eyes are so hurt Daisy has to remind herself none of this is real.

‘’I know everyone thinks I’m a monster but I would never hurt you’’.

‘’Not physically’’.

He swallows, the guilt in his expression probably true, ‘’ I swore I’d never lie to you and I haven’t’’.

An uncomfortable itch spreads through her chest at his words, she thought their history would stop affecting them but apparently not.

Beneath the table he taps her ankle with his dress shoe and she clears her throat, ‘’and you expect me to just believe you?’’

‘’I don’t expect anything from you Daisy’’.

The waiter comes to take their order and she hasn’t even looked at the menu yet, Ward starts firing off items in flawless French as another glass of water is poured for him.

Once they’re alone he focuses back on her, head tipped to the side his eyes drift from her neck to her lips.

‘’Is that all you wanted to know? Or is this your version of getting a drink?’’

Feigning annoyance Daisy bites the inside of her cheek, ‘’just here for information Ward’’.

She absolutely does not stare as the muscles of his forearms flex as he leans into the table. 

‘’I didn’t send those agents to attack you, they’re dead now anyway so I’m not sure what you want from me’’.

‘’Why did you become Director of Hydra? Didn’t you spend months trying to convince us you weren’t loyal in the first place?’’

His eye twitches, obviously putting these tales on display for Shield’s benefit, as if she’s getting to him.

‘’Things change’’.

She’s never asked him this and it’s clear he does not want to discuss it.

He takes a sip of water and comments, ‘’why come to a French restaurant if you don’t speak French?’’

May tells her to abort because he’s obviously figured it out but Daisy stays put.

‘’Why did you agree to come?’’

Grant shrugs, ‘’wanted a free meal, I’m sure Phil can afford it’’.

 

‘’And to see me’’.

He laughs the way he’s supposed to, bitter and sad.

She forgot how perfect he can be at acting, this is exactly how she imagined her first meeting with Ward would go before their paths crossed months ago.

‘’You don’t do it for me anymore Daisy, relax I’ve moved on’’.

‘’Have you?’’

Simmons tells her to bring up Kara, there’s a warning in Ward’s gaze as if he knows where this conversation could lead.

‘’How’s Bobbi?’’

This time it’s Daisy shooting him a cautious look but he just sips his water and waits for an answer.

‘’Physical therapy is a bitch but she’s recovering’’.

‘’I’m sure she’ll come after me’’.

‘’You should be worried about that’’.

He brushes it off, ‘’the Mockingbird doesn’t scare me and neither does her husband infiltrating my ranks’’.

He actually catches her by surprise for once, Grant winks, ‘’did Phil really think I wouldn’t notice?’’

There’s frantic scrambling in her ear but she tunes it out, ‘’well you did torture his wife so’’.

‘’And the woman I loved died because of it, I’d say we’re even’’.

Neither Ward nor Daisy understands why her face pales at this or why she backs her chair away from the table.

There’s sorrow in his gaze for what he lost, but the concern for the woman in front of him outweighs everything else.

‘’If you hurt him I swear’’-

‘’Relax Lance Hunter is safe and should be on his way back to the Playground right now’’.

Minutes pass before Coulson confirms this and Daisy takes a much needed sip of alcohol.

‘’You cut your hair’’.

She fingers the strands, ‘’yeah’’.

‘’It looks good’’.

His face changes from winter to summer like he’s thinking of pulling her into the bathroom and-

‘’Your boyfriend keeps glaring over here’’.

A flick of his eyes confirms that it’s Lincoln he’s talking about.

‘’Jealous?’’

Ward gives her a cocky smile, ‘’do you want me to be?’’

He’s laying it on a little thick and she rolls her eyes, ‘’not that it’s any of your business but he is not my boyfriend’’.

‘’Someone should tell him that’’.

Ward pauses as their food comes and picks right back up once he starts eating, ‘’ letting him down should be easy for you right? You’re good at breaking hearts’’.

‘’You’re one to talk’’.

He raises an eyebrow mid-chew, ‘’we both know you never actually cared about me so let’s not turn this into something it wasn’t’’.

Daisy can’t actually tell if he’s being serious or not and feels a stab of irritation, they’ll have to discuss that later. 

‘’We know what Ward’s plan is’’. Coulson shouts into her ear then goes into detail as Daisy pokes around at a bowl filled with what looks like soup.

 

Hunter called and said there was a rumor going around that Hydra is after some ancient portal that leads to a foreign planet called Maveth. Apparently Ward has gone to great lengths to require all the information he can, the goal is to go through this supposed portal and bring something to the other side. It sounds like some kind of world domination and Daisy is having a hard time swallowing that Ward is behind it. He’s never been the ‘twist a handle bar mustache’ evil kind of guy.

 

Sucking the rich creamy soup off her spoon Daisy says as nonchalantly as possible, ‘’so Maveth huh?’’

No surprise flashes but it’s obvious he didn’t want her to know about that.

‘’I’m surprised it took Shield this long to figure it out’’.

‘’You’re really going for the World Domination thing aren’t you? It suits you’’.

‘’I’m going to take that as a compliment’’.

‘’What does Hydra want with an alien planet anyway?’’

Ward shakes his head like he’s disappointed in her, ‘’do you honestly think I’m going to tell you?’’

She thinks about their late night activities and lets it play out on her face, he shifts in his chair and clenches a hand atop the table.

‘’I think it’d be in your best interest’’.

‘’Daisy there are many things that are in my best interest, you aren’t one of them’’.

‘’The bitter cocky attitude is getting old Ward’’.

‘’And May is the only one who can get away with the Ice Queen act’’.

 

They stare each other down for a moment before Grant suddenly stands, comes around behind her chair and puts both hands on the arm rests. Leans in close his mouth brushing against her ear, fingers drifting across her elbows, she doesn’t acknowledge the goosebumps that rise. He feels her shudder and grins, Daisy relaxes against him before catching it and forcing herself to appear tense and disgusted.

 

‘’Back off Ward’’.

‘’Afraid of me being so close?’’

‘’More like repulsed’’.

His low chuckle in her ear nearly makes her squirm, he’s not playing fair.

May is cursing loudly in her com while Coulson is telling Mack to interfere when Ward presses a hand to the side of her face and speaks directly into the piece in her ear.

‘’Hi Phil’’.

Now Coulson is ranting into the com unit and she’s about to rip it out, when Ward does it for her.

‘’You have two seconds to get the hell off me before I break every single bone in your body’’.

He chuckles and backs away but doesn’t sit down, instead holds out a hand and smiles like he’s in love, it takes a moment to form a rational thought.

‘’I know we didn’t have time to cover everything when I was your S.O. but normally when the enemy has the advantage you go along with them until you can gain the upper hand’’.

She slaps his palm away and stands, barely reaching the tip of his nose even in these heels.

‘’You have no idea what I’m capable of so don’t even’’-

‘’Now Agent Johnson there’s no need to get violent, don’t want to frighten the civilians do we?’’

Daisy glances around to see they have started to attract attention.

‘’What the hell is your plan Ward?’’

This time when he gives her a long once over and bites his lip she flushes.

‘’You fell right into my hands’’.

Is all he says before tossing an arm across her shoulder and walking to the exit behind them.

Fitz sends her a message that says Ward more than likely needs her to open the portal for him, she’s more than likely the only one powerful enough to do so, hardly has time to read it before he snatches it out of her hand.

Winking at her glare they walk outside and as soon as the door closes it springs back open and Ward spins around holding her to his chest, gun out. 

Mack and Lincoln have their weapons pointed at his head, ‘’let her go’’.

‘’Not happening’’.

They all walk backwards in the direction of the black SUV parked in the mouth of the alley.

No one notices how he lifts her slightly to avoid a pothole that would have probably broken her heels.

‘’Kidnapping me never ends well for you’’.

She snarls and Ward looks down at her fondly.

The gun nuzzles into the side of her head but she feels no fear, trusts Ward even if she’s pissed that this was his plan.

‘’I’ll risk it’’.

‘’You’re not getting away with this’’.

Lincoln snarls as they continue walking backwards.

Grant’s arm tightens across her chest, ‘’you should be careful with this one, the second after you kiss her she may try to kill you’’.

‘’Only if you’re a Hydra agent’’.

They reach the car and Mack looks like he’d run through hell just to make sure she came home with him.

‘’Tell Coulson I’ll make contact as soon as I can’’.

Lincoln moves to take a shot but Ward is faster, gently pushes her into the backseat, locks it and the driver speeds off.

 

The vehicle is bullet proof she can hear the shells ricocheting off, Ward pays no mind as he puts his seatbelt on and starts scrolling through his phone. She waits until they reach a red light to chunk her shoes at him, much to her annoyance he dodges without looking up from the screen.

 

‘’What the hell Ward?’’

‘’You’re the one who set this meeting up, don’t look at me for how poor it went’’.

‘’You can drop the dick attitude, we’re alone’’.

At her tone he tosses the phone into a cup holder, turns and gives her his full attention.

Watches as the mask falls from his face as he sighs, pulls her legs into his lap.

Its new territory these innocent touches but she doesn’t mind, relaxes into his hands.

‘’Are you alright?’’

‘’Coulson thinks you kidnapped me to open your tunnel to hell so no, I’m not’’.

He squeezes her calves, ‘’I’m not going to use you at all, especially not for that’’.

‘’So it’s true then, you’re really trying to find this alien planet?’’

‘’Wasn’t one of your conditions when we started this no work talk?’’

‘’Ward’’.

He sighs, ‘’yes’’.

‘’Why?’’

‘’It’s complicated’’.

Glancing out the window she notices they’re merging onto the highway, ‘’where are we going?’’

With a shy smile he replies, ‘’cabin’’.

‘’Did you restock it with decent food or is it still a ‘In Case the Apocalypse Comes’ pantry?’’

‘’I bought your Pop-Tarts and Fruit Loops don’t worry’’.

She smiles and leans her head against the seat, closes her eyes, ‘’wake me up when we get there’’.

Knowing they need to talk about everything he nods says he will.

Daisy drifts off dreaming about a gray planet with blue skies and a sense of dread in her mind.


End file.
